During the third UK lockdown, Tori Amos began to question if she would ever have the opportunity to perform live again. At her secluded home in Cornwall, where our meeting took place, she started to mourn the loss of connection with her fans. When she is on tour, the US singer and songwriter receives hundreds of letters daily, each requesting specific songs for her famously passionate performances. She makes an effort to read as many as possible, changing the setlist every night except for the opening and closing songs.
Amos has always had a collaborative relationship with her fans, who share personal stories with her and trust her implicitly. She has a warm and welcoming demeanor that immediately draws people in. During our lunch at her home, we discussed a range of topics from football to legal training, showcasing her down-to-earth nature.
Despite being labeled as „kooky“ early in her career, Amos is a multifaceted individual with a deep connection to her 11 muses or spirit guides that inspire her creativity. She seamlessly balances her artistic pursuits with the challenges of the music industry, which is known for its difficulty and sexism.
Her work, particularly her debut album „Little Earthquakes,“ has resonated with fans by delving into personal experiences, such as her haunting a cappella track „Me and a Gun“ that confronts sexual trauma. As she returned to touring in 2022 after a five-year hiatus, Amos rekindled her bond with her audience, as reflected in her latest album „Diving Deep Live.“
The conversation also touched on more somber topics, such as the allegations against her close friend Neil Gaiman, which left her shocked and saddened. Amos expressed her disbelief at the accusations and emphasized her support for the women involved in the situation. The emotional toll of the situation was evident as she shared her personal connection to Gaiman through her daughter and struggled to come to terms with the news. During her Ocean to Ocean tour in 2023, Amos mentioned that they decided not to inform their mother immediately and instead went straight to John Witherspoon due to uncertainties about the legality of the situation. They needed to work through the issue, especially since it was a holiday weekend. John assured that he would speak to their mother once she landed, and that’s exactly what happened. Amos expressed their hesitation to speak publicly about the situation, as they were not involved in hiring the nannies and had never met them. Despite receiving thousands of letters of praise for Neil’s work over the years, they had never received any negative feedback until now.
Amos appeared crestfallen and hollowed out, especially considering their extensive career advocating for survivors. They shared a story about their involvement with RAINN, an anti-sexual violence organization, which was established after an incident during a performance in the US midwest in 1994. Amos expressed disappointment that the world has not significantly improved for women since RAINN’s inception, citing ongoing gender disparities and misogyny in society.
Reflecting on their early years as a musician in Maryland, Amos mentioned their deep connection with the piano, calling it a true friend that never let them down. They discussed their struggles in the music industry, including a failed album with a group in Los Angeles, which led to feelings of inadequacy and ridicule in the industry.
Despite these challenges, Amos remained resilient, acknowledging their journey from prodigy to facing criticism and ridicule. They recalled a moment of introspection in a restaurant in Santa Monica, where they questioned how they had transitioned from a musical prodigy to being labeled as a „bimbo“ by the industry. Ultimately, Amos recognized the importance of staying true to their original voice and not succumbing to external pressures in the music industry. Mehr als alles andere in dieser Stadt glaube ich wirklich, dass das die Plage für sie ist. Aber ohne dieses Versagen hätte sie Little Earthquakes nicht schreiben können und alle Alben seitdem; hätte keinen massiven internationalen Hit mit Cornflake Girl gehabt (wahrscheinlich das einzige Lied über weibliche Genitalverstümmelung, das je die Charts gestört hat); hätte das wild experimentelle Album Boys for Pele nicht schreiben können und gesehen, wie ein Remix seines Liedes, Professional Widow, zu einem Tanzklassiker wurde (und vielleicht die ultimative Hymne der enthusiastischen Zustimmung mit seinem Refrain, „Schatz, bring es nah an meine Lippen“). Sie hätte nicht einige der größten Kritikerlobpreis ihrer Karriere für Ocean to Ocean erleben können. „Ich musste das durchmachen“, sagt sie. „Es war irgendwie mein Moment des Moments, nachdem ich jahrelang mein Instrument im Stich gelassen hatte, ihm den Rücken gekehrt hatte, weil ich den Kool-Aid getrunken hatte.“ Fühlt sie immer noch, dass sie jetzt gegen Sexismus kämpfen muss? „Nun, das ist eine interessante Frage“, sagt sie. „Wir wissen nicht, was uns erwartet, mit einem Präsidenten, der scheint feuerfest zu sein. Also, da sich die Bevölkerung ermutigt fühlt – einige von ihnen – weiß ich nicht, mit welchem Verhalten wir umgehen müssen. Aber in gewisser Weise, wegen meiner Lebenssituation, bin ich mir sicher, dass ich Männer getroffen habe, die mich anders behandeln.“ Anders als sie andere Frauen behandeln? „Ja. Und liegt das daran, dass sie es mir nicht zu zeigen wagten? Weil ich es nicht tolerieren werde.“ Ihre stählerne Seite kommt zum Vorschein. „Ich werde es nicht tolerieren. Ich werde es nicht tolerieren mit der Crew…“ Du lässt es nicht um dich herum passieren? „Nein. Nein.“ Und die Leute wissen das? „Oh ja. Ja. Aber möglicherweise gibt es Wölfe im Schafspelz.“ Sie gibt mir einen bedeutungsvollen Blick. „Und klar, darüber haben wir vorhin gesprochen.“